Trust

The tower of trust lays before me

Broken barriers of deceit

Once formed so delicately like a ladder uphill

A trickle of betrayal is all it takes

Then one by one the rest breaks

One wonders why certain emotions are forefront

Yet fail to understand the pain

It’s better to let one think you trust them

Never sharing you do or don’t 

Call it paranoia 

I call it my own sanctuary 

 

Mosaic

Colorful patterns intertwined beyond curves

Just like life with it’s obstacles and imperfections

Yet beautiful like reflections of the sun

We dream for a world that aims to be

Just that but we have to start within

Mosaics are one of a kind delicately pieced

As are we as humans on earth

Pieced together with stories and dreams

Sometimes alone or standing out

Yet most still fail to see unity in this mosaic of life

Wouldn’t it be great to not be so walled up

To live and love to grow and learn

Yet just like a mosaics beauty and story

We are all still broken pieces 

Just needing to be placed

Sea

Easing barefooted along the cliffside

To feel the breeze along my body

I gaze out to the sea and think

Letting my thoughts flow with the waves

More than anything to know what’s in the open 

Content just to sit on this cliff 

Still that fear of plummeting

Yet I’m comforted by the unknowing

The wind that could carry me or keep me steady

I do nothing but close my eyes

As I step outside myself to regain sail again

My Niche

Hello everyone, I hope all is well and that you all continue to stay safe, well, peaceful, and as content as possible amid the world chaos. Today I have decided to take a risk, a jump, a dive, to share with you all something I have actually been hesitant about sharing because I wanted to keep it separate from my Poetry/Blog. However this is a part of me. It is my niche and I have started this journey awhile back. Now I wish to share it in hopes that it may inspire others to follow their heart and niche and never give up. First I would like to give a little backstory. As many of you know that have kept up with my writing I am a survivor of past abuse, I also have a learning disability that I am still trying to embrace, and I am studying to be a Personal Trainor. I did graduate college in 2006 with an Associates in Science towards Psychology Degree but due to finances and due to my learning challenges I did not continue. I initially wished to be a counselor for victims of abuse. Paths change and at times obstacles can make those paths change. After several jobs in life, ending up needing to pursue Therapy for my own mental and emotional health to heal from the trauma I endured as a child/teen I had many hard times figuring out who I was as a person, what my purpose was, and how I was to make my mark on this earth. A few years ago I decided to study to be a Personal Trainer. I failed the Exam many times and I actually have my retake this month on the 22nd. I will not give up. When I do become certified as a Personal Trainer I have some goals in mind. Eventually when I get to the point in life of becoming financially stable with my profession I wish to donate to places that I care deeply about. One day I will get there. No matter how long it takes me. I made a promise to myself, to my mom especially as she is an inspiration to me too (thank you mom I love you and always will and if you are reading this just know I couldn’t be prouder of having you as my mom no matter what we faced!) I will NEVER give up! I also wish to show my son that anything is possible with a little self patience and determination. Have I felt like giving up during my life? Yes I have. At 38 years old I definitely thought I would have made something of myself by now but you know what? I did. In my own way. Maybe not exactly how I hoped but I am and will get there. One day. As all of you will too. That is my wish for any of you and to carry that on. Do something with your niche and help people in this world. That is the most important thing we can do to make this world a better place. Share our stories, our goals, leave behind legacies. Thank you all my wordpress family as I call you for believing in me as I believe in each of you. With that said I will now share my niche, my work, and I hope you enjoy! I add more of my work over time. Please continue to spread Peace and Love in this world!

~Sara-Loretta Hardin~

https://weltfriedenstellacraftboutique.webnode.com/online-store/

 

Celestial

Existential planes otherworldly realms

My soul wants more of the unknown

Unanswered reasonings of life purposes

My own endearing subconscious to cleanse

Hauntings of the past not yet in remission

Truth I seek but not yet gain not even here

Within my weaknesses lies strength to hang on

If nothing else to just flow in life and search

Yearning for celestial escape for my mind

While yet still landing in reality

I keep one arm stretched out to the sky 

Outspokenness

Hello everyone, I hope all are staying as safe and well as possible and may you all enjoy the Holidays between social distancing the best you can with family and friends. I wished to speak on something that is all too familiar to me and to some of you: Outspokenness. It is something that I am quite diligent about and sometimes to the point that I have failed to gather my facts more thoroughly before doing so. I think we all are guilty of that at times and it doesn’t mean we are horrible people. We are who we are due to what any of us have endured and that is also a huge factor in how we handle things present day. Many of you whom have followed my Poetry/Blog and read my writings know that I am a survivor of past abuse by my ex-stepfather. Never in my life did I wish to use what I endured as an excuse for how outspoken I am now. However due to the things that happened to me I did not have a voice and a way to express myself in a healthy manner during those times. I couldn’t have a voice. Therefore as years went by I made a promise to myself that I would have a voice and never allow anyone or anything to take that from me again like he did. With that said some people who do not get to know me or try to understand me may perceive me completely other than I intend. As I am a very sensitive person I also have a barrier of self protection. One of my problems is that I have the tendency to need to be outspoken about everything in life and sometimes even when I think I have looked at every angle there is an angle I forget to see. Now I am one and always have been one to apologize and acknowledge my own mistakes. I am not perfect as no one is. I am sure my loved ones can attest to the fact that I needed to tone down my outspokenness in the past but I have come a long way throughout the years whilst in Therapy for healing from the abuse I endured. It’s still a process. I never meant to hurt anyone with my outspokenness. I just got to a point where I was tired of being walked over, lied to, hurt, and then some. My outspokenness is for myself, for my protection, my sanity, but also for what I stand for in this life for humanity. Maybe some are afraid of that but maybe I can come across a certain way I don’t mean to. Sometimes though maybe we all can take something from listening to someone else’s perspective. We can learn from each other. Being outspoken can feel like a curse sometimes but we should always be outspoken, maybe just tone it down a little for some personalities. Each person is different and handles things differently due to their upbringing. Sometimes we are loud and say we understand but do we really? Do we take the time to understand another persons perspective while keeping our voice? I try my best to although I have at times maybe read into things too much or assumed the worst. Maybe it was my self protection but to the person it was taken as my outspokenness uncalled for or too sensitive or too intense. I think we all should self reflect and ask ourselves why we reacted or feel the way we do. Try to understand another persons outspokenness as well before judging. Now I do not condone the A-holes of the world obviously so disregard that for them. However try to see why you may be intense with your outspokenness at times and try to see if it is worth it or how to maybe go about a conflict or resolution differently. In all reality none of us are mind readers. None of us can see what either of us have been through. Maybe as a society we can try to be better with how we go about our outspokenness depending on circumstances. We may find a better understanding of ourselves when we do and when you know you are the one that is wrong make sure you apologize sincerely. Help yourself gather all the facts and try not to overthink unless there is a reason to. You will save yourself unnecessary turmoil. Be yourself without regrets. 

Peace, Love, and Light

Sara-Loretta Hardin

Afar

Grasping through the waterfall

The sudden urge to jump through overcomes

Water pelting down as the sheer coldness succumbs

Can this fantasy be that exists within

Body trembling yet embracing the crossover

Escaping the depths of pain all too real

An orb of light passes by that feels warm

Closing my eyes I let it embrace me

I don’t want to leave this fantasy of mine

For it shows me another way another realm 

Placing my arms to my side I just float

Letting the orbs warmth soothe the coldness

I go to another place of being

An existence of my own

End

As I sweep myself up off the ground

The dust I leave behind 

Pain in it’s minimal form when broken down 

Pieces of me I leave behind

I just want to breathe to feel something again

All I taste in my veins is my decaying blood

Emotions consume like an infection to a host

I’d rather drown than feel anymore

Maybe I just need to make the chapters end and start anew

A fresh dusting for my life for my heart

Maybe we all need that

Just live

Some chapters are better in the end

That’s when life begins again

So I will live

Thanksgiving

Today I decided to write about something that has a lot of meaning to me but is also overlooked by society and not accurately represented in my opinion. Thanksgiving in the History books told a story yet the Native Americans in this country still get shoved to the side, and who is thankful for their people that also sacrificed so much and made it to where America became America prior to us people from all over the world making it the “melting pot” as told in History books that it is? So first before I continue my rant of feelings I wish to thank ALL the Native American people for any of the sacrifices they continue to make and apologize for the stigma that this National Holiday called Thanksgiving holds because it doesn’t really honor the Native American people as it should. Before judging what I wrote take a step back and try to look at it from that perspective. Thank you. Now I shall share Thanksgiving in my eyes. Each day I wake up to a world anew. Maybe not a world that I envisioned but definitely a new day, another day to be thankful that I woke up breathing, I can walk and talk, hug my child, see everything around me, feel everything around me, talk to loved ones and friends, and live. I’m so very thankful for life even though I may not be content with everything I am still thankful. To wake up each day and know that I have another chance, another opportunity to do something with my life or try to make a difference or bring a smile to someones face, that to me is what I am thankful for. I think we tend to drown ourselves at times with the notion that we NEED certain things in life to be thankful. In all actuality we don’t. You know what we need? We need clarity, peace of mind, love, support, and to realize that we have our will power to be thankful for too. The will power to continue in a torn world, to not suffice to the doom right in front of us. Change within to bear a new day is what we should be thankful for as it gives us the opportunity to learn, to grow, to be there for others that may need us. Be thankful that the light of dawn shines into your eyes and the rush of getting out of bed runs through your body because there is someone out there no matter where that is just as thankful for YOU. 

Peace, Love, and Light,

Sara-Loretta Hardin

Embers

Complexities in the form of embers

Each a different shape and sharpness to them

Yet delicate like a sheet of ice on a frozen lake

She wants to glide freely to find her heart again

Swirling across the ice in the skates 

Yet she is just a muse but one not taken lightly

As the embers fall the ice melts

She just falls through the thin sheet of ice

Her fears depleted in the frozen lake

No more embers to keep her warm

Her heart frozen once warm

She dies with an embers kiss as she falls to the obsolete

Just to live again 

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