One

Meadows of breezes

Filling the air with a crisp touch

As I lay in the grass

Closing my eyes to escape this world

A sense of myself floating

The music in my ears soothing

The energy surrounding

Celestial within

Aura of ethereal reach me

Another place away

Away from this place we call Earth

A universal place

The place of love

Residing through every part of my being

Resonating with the ground beneath me

No other feeling I want

To just be

One

 

Anxiety

Anxiety

It’s like an overwhelming feeling of loss

Loss of control in your life

Fear of the most simple things you should conquer

Dread of the next thing to come

Consuming you

Constant fight or flight mode

Pushing yourself to function to just live

To all whom experience this:

You will be ok.

Breathe…

Thrive

Thriving, sailing like the softness of a sheet

Pacing lost-like in either direction

Craving the bitter taste of life like decadent dessert

Not letting it pass by without observing

The most delicacies surrounding the turmoil

Tasting the goodness in the bitterness

Like a cloud of bliss

Thriving among the darkness

 

 

To My Son

 

You ARE good enough

You ARE worthy

You are NOT a failure

You ARE unique

You ARE strong

You be as YOU are

You do NOT have to conform to societal standards

Boys CAN be sensitive AND emotional

You ARE capable of anything

You need to BELIEVE in YOURSELF

You need to always TRY

NEVER give up

ALWAYS stand up

You need to remember emotions do NOT make you weak

In the end it makes you stronger

YOU feel

Therefore you LIVE

Love,

Mom

Restore Faith In Humanity

Can humans be less self-absorbed? As I think about today and the sacrifices and lives that were lost those 20 years ago on 9/11 it baffles me that still to this day many have yet to understand the importance of unity. Regardless of race, gender, religion, disability. It is a wonder why so many beautiful souls escape this world because they can no longer fathom the way the world has become. I used to contradict myself inciting that it is selfish of the ones whom have taken their own lives and I was even distraught, sad, and angry when one of my friends in high school took their own life. However I am realizing it is not selfish. Though I would never act on it I too wish to not exist in this world. Unfortunately I also wear the world on my shoulders. Constantly feeling and absorbing the energies around me, the sheer pain, hurt, emotions of friends and family and the news of atrocities around the world. Sometimes it is a curse to me sometimes I wish I was numb and didn’t feel a thing because it’s obvious I cannot fix anything. I cannot make my loved ones happy, I can’t take their pain away or others pain away and help the world wake up and see that there is so much more to this life and even though we all have differences we can still get along. Yet as a child I was told “you’re living in a fantasy land it’s not like in the movies”. Well no it isn’t and I know I have always been different. Many times I would have rather not existed than belittled for my way of thinking. Then due to the abuse I endured in my childhood/adolescence and the bullying in school on top of that I still wanted peace and love and tried to never lose faith in my humanity. What often resides in my mind and heart is why do bad people the ones whom do harm and atrocities to others in the world always get a slap on the wrist with no justice served to them it seems, and why is it always that the victims carry that burden? To make sense of it all I have always tried to tell myself that it is so we all can tell our stories to help inspire, to keep someone else from wanting to take their own life, to put a spark in someone so they don’t feel so alone, and maybe just maybe by doing so little by little our faith remains restored in humanity. Please be kind to others, please get help whether it be therapy when you need it, try not to use others as an outlet for your pent up emotions (I have been guilty of that we all are as humans), try to do better, be better, and most of all let the legacies each of you leave behind be that when one speaks of you it is only out of good and love because you actually made an impact instead of spreading hate. Thank you………..Let’s all have a moment of silence for those whom need it at this time……….

Peace, Love, and Bliss,

Sara-Loretta Hardin

Resentment

Life Lesson: Resentment. We all hold resentment within ourselves hoping that with either self reflection or forgiveness that it will dissipate over time. It doesn’t. At least not with me. Resentment its like a disease of its own manifesting over time. Even when you share your feelings about the amount you harbor it feels better for awhile and then it eats at you like a vulture eating a piece of decaying flesh. Resentment can go both ways. Either you have been hurt over multitudes and harbor resentment or it is resentment held towards you from an individual you may have hurt. Let it be known just like ice water awakening a sleeping statue that resentment builds and builds and WE ALL are guilty of feeding it as well as receiving it. If you let your life flash before you and you think to how you could have caused another pain even if you feel it was justified that entails the other person to hold resentment towards you. No matter how much you have resentment towards them for what they did. It is a never ending cycle. Either you choose to move forward and let resentment go or you harbor resentment till the day you die. The choice is yours. However let it be known that in justifiable resentment that you must not feel bad about it no matter how bad you honestly feel about it because had you not been hurt in the first place there would be no need for resentment now would there be? I ask each of you to try a little form of self searching. Find out what you resent, why, and how you think you will best be able to either contain it or let it go. Do yourself a favor and don’t feel guilty for still holding on to it if you can’t let go. Just try to learn from it, embrace it, and still live life the best you can until your last breath. We are all built differently emotionally and what works best for one person may not always work best for another. Look within, learn to accept, and never feel guilty for feelings you are entitled to especially when it was someone else whom caused that resentment. If you can just don’t drag them down because they are hurting just as much. Let them know how you feel but try to accept their remorse. Even when things will never be the same again. 

Peace, Love, and Light,

Sara-Loretta Hardin

Surf

The cantered waters in the vast seas

Be one with the wind let your mind ease

Plethora of indigenous thoughts

Scents of tomorrows become clearer

Inner peace like a surf

Though wavy and strong at times with fierceness

We can overcome the tide

Just surf into the unknown 

Reaching for clarity with all our might

If we are to become better surfers

To listen to the air not just feel 

Look beyond what is heard and seen

Impending life like an article of events

Still surf nonetheless

Life Update

Hello everyone, I hope you all are well and continuing with your writings and endeavors amid the pandemic and everything else going on in the world. It has been awhile but I decided to pour out my heart and give an update. With that said I shall begin. 

This year has been a rollercoaster that I am riding curves and all. I ended up ending my studies to become a Personal Trainer due to failing the test multiple times hence my learning disability and I decided instead of giving the company I did my studies through any more money I would end the goal. Maybe it was not meant for me. Believe me when I say there are signs everywhere for all of us and it is what you make of it. There is a reason for everything and sometimes you really have to just go with the flow no matter the struggles and make the best of it. Then I got on with a company at the end of January with employment as a Call Center Agent and I will not disclose the name of the company. I bought a used new vehicle my biggest purchase ever in life considering the few I was grateful for prior to this one but this is a better family vehicle as well. I felt proud. Then I decided to enter college again to pursue a second degree only this time in Criminal Justice with the hopes of one day working for the Center for Missing and Exploited children. I had all these goals and everything planned out. Then I quit my job June 8th. I decided that I was not going to allow officials within a company to demean my mental and emotional state referring to me as “aggressive” when I was being “assertive”. I ended up having to withdraw from the two classes this fall I was going to take and it really bummed me out. I had everything going for me especially the accommodation letter for my learning disability. Elated was beyond how I felt about this and only to have to throw it away because I made a choice to quit a job I actually loved and felt more confident than I ever had. However due to the way the company was being run and the attitude from certain higher up officials I had to weigh what was most important. My mental and emotional well being. I was always able to take constructive criticism but in no way will I in this life let people demean me any longer. My ex-stepfather did enough damage to me in my life when I was a child/adolescence with the abuse I endured at his hands. Up to now in life I had my fair share of others damaging me in other ways. At 39 years old I will save what is left of myself while I am still here on this earth. It doesn’t make me weak just because I kindly quit. For any of you that have also had this happen none of you are weak. You get to a point in life where you realize your worth. Never let anyone take that from you. So that is what I did I took my worth back and said no I will not allow this. Currently I am making a plan on keeping my online store of crafts and soon I will be setting up a booth at a local flea market and also continuing to write poetry etc. Maybe one day I can get a book of poetry together and give some of the proceeds to victims of abuse, childrens homes, cancer research, autoimmune disease research and whatever else I can donate to plus make profit for my family. Right now all I know is that I will not give up. My therapist told me the other day that I am a “go getter”. You know what? My therapist is right because persevering is in my blood and many of you have that within yourselves too so please never give up. There is always a light within everything. Follow your heart and never let people take your voice and happiness away. Everyone has a story just remember you can always start a new chapter. 

Peace, Love, and Light,

Sara-Loretta Hardin

Waste of Time

Some people focus too much on others lives when they should focus on their own, clean their own front doors. Instead of pulling out others flaws why don’t you pull out your own, instead of tearing others down, why don’t you do something productive with your own lives? Own up to your own mistakes and fix those first. Before any individual has the right to even open their mouths and speak on behalf of another individuals life it’s time to fact check ones own life. Start within, not outside, then maybe just maybe this world would be a better place. 

Peace, Love, and Light,

Sara-Loretta Hardin

Fool

Escalation within

Figuring myself out 

As a hidden beam behind a concrete wall

The surface mostly hard to break

Yet inside crumbles

Forcing to shift my emotions

Unscathed though broken

A barrier within I cannot ignore

No crossing unless I allow

Fair warning if breached

I’m not a hollow fool

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