Differentiate the Obvious

Many of you whom have read my blogs and closely paid attention know that I am one of many advocates for mental health. Not only do I acknowledge that in this world “mental health” is a serious issue I also am open minded enough not to judge a book by its cover and wise enough to know the difference between a person who needs help with their “mental health” and/or a person who is just plain “cold hearted”.

Obviously we have both. However our media tends to glorify the individuals that have either hurt or killed many people over these past and recent events. The media should stop giving copy cat killers the advantage. This goes beyond “mental health”. If we are to as a society help put and end to these atrocities we have to be one step ahead. One of those main steps is stop giving these “cold hearted” type personalities glorification. 

So many want to make excuses for these sick individuals but I will say this: We ALL have our stories of having survived abuse or bullying and many of us NEVER attempted or killed anyone. This is where my belief that it’s not just “mental health” comes in. Please acknowledge that sometimes a person is just that “cold hearted”. Sometimes I am just sick of the excuses that society plays out. 

Do I care about a killers background story? Damn right I do! However I differentiate the obvious.

Please spread love and peace in the names of anyone that has ever been abused, raped, murdered…………………. 




I could claw at my being the way your hate burns me from the inside out

Turning one to one to another against each other through fetishes of turmoil

You make me want to crawl into a hole because the darkness of it outshines what you show the world

Escape will never come until I’m gone but until then I fight

I fight against the hate, the bigotry, the world as it presents itself regardless of ethnicity

Until my last breath I will be myself, I will be human

Go ahead and categorize me without knowing me

At least when I die I will have died knowing that I gave a shit

Pure fucking compassion

That’s me

Always crying for People

People that don’t give a shit

But I do……I always will

I love you all

I want to love me too

So please let me


No Forgiveness Deserved

With everything that has been in the news whether whole truth or partial truth because lets face it who the hell knows what to believe anymore in the media, I find myself fuming. 

There are two subjects that hit me hardest and that is: Abuse and Child Molesters (Rapists, Pedophiles, whatever the hell it’s the same damn category)……..

As I am not a violent person I cannot begin to describe how it upsets me when people that have done these things get away with it. Some of you may think I am crazy for saying this but I believe in capital punishment especially for child molesters, rapists, etc. 

I sit here and I try to type and cannot even think clearly because it bothers me so. Not only did I endure abuse but I was molested too by a man I wish was dead. Many people out there have their stories and yet no amount of therapy and no amount of support can ever take those memories away. 

Forgiveness is so easily thrown into sentences, forgiveness to go on, forgiveness not necessarily for the perpetrator but for yourself so you can move on. Advice greatly appreciated. I’m still not able to forgive. I cannot forgive what still haunts me.

I want to tell any of you that have been abused or molested/raped that it is not your fault. You have to make sure you keep telling yourself that. 

This is harder than I thought writing on this. I’m sorry. If any of you are still haunted just know that someone somewhere out there cares. I do. I care. I may be a stranger but we all have our stories. 

For all you abusers and child molesters out there I hope you all fucking rot. Capital punishment in the form of public hanging should never have been outlawed because people like yourselves who abuse and molest/rape people deserve to die and deserve no forgiveness. I’m not sorry for stating this. I’m speaking on behalf of survivors!!!! 






To walk into a room empty with space and time still 

No laughter no movement just numbness 

A mist upon the air I walk through

Reaching for a hand that is not mine nor there

I breathe deeply and fall slowly through the floor

The sound resonates with me as it all disappears

Trapped in a time capsule in my mind I stare 

Sheets of bright light float around my body as echos whisper

Hold on I tell myself as I’m in a trance listening

The mist lifts me closer to the light away from what




Honestly I don’t even know where to start. Everything lately that is going on in this world sickens me to the core, depresses me, and I know I am not the only one it all has impacted. It takes me out of my element because yes I do wear the world on my shoulders as I have always been told. The hardest part for me is knowing that my child has to grow up in such a cruel world. I beg all of you people out there reading this to spread love and peace each day and not just after atrocities happen. Stand up for what you believe in but do it peacefully. Love will always win because in the end as the saying goes we all breath the same air and bleed blood just as anyone does who gets cut. We all need to understand something and my motto has always been “Learn History But Do Not Live It”, we need to let history be just that: History. I understand the outrage with Historical monuments, statues and so forth but at the same time are we going to change street signs or names of countries or names of buildings? While I do NOT condone hate in any form I do feel that tearing History apart is like tearing into our souls. Each generation has to learn history so history does not repeat itself. However if we delete History as an educational sense then what are we teaching future generations to help them understand why hatred is not the answer if no one else will? My point is where my heart is with everyone of the world and especially with what has been going on in America lately I feel that the division will not stop until ALL people, ALL sides sit back and THINK for a moment. Is taking down history solving anything? No. My wish for all of humanity is to find peace and love within because that is where it starts. 

Sweet Nectar

The essence of love and hate

Nectar so sweet yet so dividing

Poison consuming yet revitalizing 

Do you see or taste it

Nectar invisible by the blind buds

It may be sweet but the sour is there

Burning sensation on every tissue

Sweet Nectar may linger 

It may forever consume you

No Words

No words describe my bleeding heart

Each time the sound of the world stabs me

I feel so broken inside my mind cries

My heart cries for peace and love for all

Sometimes my soul can’t take the burden 

They always said I wore the world on my shoulders

I still do

No words can mend my bleeding heart

My bleeding heart bleeds for all

No words


Previous Older Entries