Trust Gone

Taking all the pieces inside

Shaving every fiber off to a thin surface

A disguise but a sheer design 

Convincing myself all is truth

Yet life is but a lie set in front of me

Placed here in this realm of what

Speaks these kind flowing gentle kisses

Betraying senses of the ears so true

Everything you think what was

Standing before the wall is darkness

A shadow of reflection of deceit

Poisoning the air like vapors

Consuming like death to a corpse

Trust gone heart dissipates 


We seek solace at random intervals

Sometimes it stands right before us 

As a mimic a reflection of your heart

An impact that may be decibels incomprehensible

Only you know because you feel it through you

Systemically uplifting while embracing

Fervently grounded and interlocked

No longer dubious in that sense

Only Solace won’t let you fall


These pieces that lay beneath me

Revolting like scars on the soul

Tiny reflections of broken memories 

Warped through a black hole in time

Nothingness and pain delved into one

Pits of hell would feel like angel kisses

Instead the sheer strike of darkness enters

Reopens every last bit of what once was

Just as almost sealed as hoped to be

Perpetuating immense sadness

Killing the new bloom of a budded Rose

What once was on the road to heal

Diffused within the corridors of protection

Ruined by a coil of haunting projectiles

In dreams never ending striking over and over

What is left of a rose that once was

Is but a hollow piece of glass 



In my mind there’s a place

I go so far from myself that not even particles can see

Beckoning my soul to follow and disappear to never be found

The tears fall from emptiness no longer there

It’s all that lingers anymore between the lines of motion

Hollow surfaces and webs of feelings and numbness withering

Destructing my inner being to once more that I was

A flower with silkened petals turned to ash no matter the bloom

A place in my mind to go so beautiful yet so haunting

Will you go with me though I’m different

I cannot be the dove that perches fervently along my window

Though it is clear that what you see before is me

The place in my mind echos with my heart and soul

No longer wanting to settle in a realm of broken mirrors

Reflecting spaces of water and tide among myself

Currents in the place of my mind take me down

Whole mind whole spirit whole being gone

Complete darkness and shards of glass everywhere

Wind in the place of emotions to carry what once was

Place in my mind that is no more but never ending emotions

Consuming all that’s left of me

My being my soul

The air I breathe

In the place in my mind


The waves look peaceful in the distance

My soul desires flight in the open air

Nothing to hold me back while I discover

A place that I can escape the world

To feel isolated from its endless chaos

To hold my breath, my heart, 

Free flight without judgement

Save me from myself

With flight

I may become whole again


To breathe your soul in

Knowing and not knowing

Lost in space and time

Just wanting to feel

I wall up with guard down

Immense desire for truth and light

To guide me above

Which consumes my soul

Drowning in my own senses

No denying

Just as a whispers caress


Waves rushing in

Carry me away again

Inevitably slowing me down

The horizon but a glimpse ahead

Yet I’m swept back again

I can’t breath

Don’t want to drown

But I can’t find ground

I keep going under

Slowly dying from the pain inside

Every time I try

It all encompasses me

No direction just a broken arrow

Too much to choose

No smooth waves to ride

My body cold and numb

The world has drowned me once again

But not for long


Logically we question Why

The answer is nowhere to be found

Life we live must be lived, cherished, learned, continued

Tearing ourselves apart

Searching for Why

Can’t we see there is no Why

There is Do 

There is Help

There is Change

Then memories follow

The “Why” is just a portal



Electricity pulsating through my veins

Shuddering though unable to move

Memories too painful to breathe

I die with unbearable strain

electric impulses killing off every cell 

memories disappearing slowly 

Fading into nothing but numbness

No balance when nothing left to grasp on to 

Just broken impulses of energy


Pieces falling against my skin

Sharp edges and crumbled bits

Fading words deaf to the world

Truth flows from the creases folding on and on

The paper weights won’t keep them down

I fly with each piece each word

Sharp edges won’t stop me

Pain made me into notes the notes that flow

Words that soar and go 

Paper smooth across my floating soul

Notes of me

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